Top 10 Signs You’re a Hipster

G’day. I’ve spent a lot of time ranting about the hipsters that be, but now I’m going to give you an easy to digest list of signs you might be a hipster. If you can relate to 5 or more, you’re a hipster. If so, GTFO.

1. If someone calls you a hipster, your immediate response is “I’m not a fucking hipster, just because I…[list of hipster items/hobbies] doesn’t make me one.” Denial is the first sign of hipster. You often exclaim “look at that fucking hipster” in the presence of other hipsters.
2. You own or carry a DSLR for the purpose of taking mirror shots, or uninspiring photos of other hipsters, or occasionally a barren landscape. Or maybe some graffiti. Most frequently just your street.
3. You have a pair of glasses, that are either frame-less or clear plastic.
4. You wear a beanie, regardless of any incongruity between weather or temperature.
5. You have a polaroid camera; or you use Hipstamatic on your iPhone – “New-age fun with a vintage feel.”
6. You have said “I liked them before they were mainstream.”
7. As per encyclopediadramatica, you are a walking stereotype with no trace of a genuine personality or intellect.
8. You have participated in previous bullshit fads, including but not limited to emo.
9. You have tattoos of a moustache on your finger, or irrelevant birds, animals or symbols in various places on your body for no apparent reason and nothing in the way of justification.
10. You have few avenues for any intellectual or personal development, drinking heavily and consuming copious amounts of illicit substances for your own relief.

Despite this, I am not ripping on peoples free will – do whatever the fuck you want, but as I’ve previously noted the hypocrisy in the hipster fad is more than I can reasonably be expected to bear.

-b.

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